A mother's dream fulfilled

We went to school, and good ones at that. Only we gave up on things that needed money.

For years, I wore hand-me-downs, and never felt anything. I just did not observe what others had. What they had was theirs, and it had nothing to do with me. Even looking at what they had made me think I was invading their privacy and property, and that was an improper thing to do.

The only time I started seeing consumer goods was when I had spent many years in the West. I still did not see what others had. I went to Regent and Oxford Streets in London, and window-shopped, only to appreciate the beauty of these consumer items.

I am glad the cycle breakers and the NGOs weren't around when we were at school. They would have broken us, instead of the cycle.

The problem is too big. It requires a revolution. If not a bloody one, then one in thinking, and unfortunately the world hasn't given up on the American Nightmare. I am sorry, but this is what I think the American Dream actually is.

It requires Islam to be practiced in toto, and again unfortunately, this needs a revolution in thought, of the elite and the masses.

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P.S.: I remember now how my mother made ends meet. She sold her jewelery, bit by bit, and she had loads of it. Then when the jewelry was gone, she sold her brass and bronze utensils and flower pots with intricate designs, huge and heavy trays called "seenee", and huge copper utensils. And heavy curtains, those you see only at palaces. Those were her dowry things she sold. When these were gone, I don't know how she managed. She worked very hard, and she prayed, even the tahajjud. She did her wazaif as well.

My mother and her elder sister were the two most wonderful people in this world.

Mother had a dream - that her children would be educated, and Allah (swt) fulfilled her dream, alhamdulillah. All her nine children, except one, who was prone to accidents in the head and lost quite a lot of blood that way, have had education upto masters at least. All own their own houses. All have their own cars. And all practice Islam.

I did not fulfill my own dream: to take a doctorate in Chemistry under Linus Pauling in California, I do have a doctorate - in Chemical Engineering. And although I did not get a Nobel Prize in Chemistry, (as my teachers at Dacca University thought I would), I hope that my work, however humble and however unpublished, will be rewarded in the Hereafter. That is what I want, most of all, to be summoned on the Day of Judgement, and told by Allah He is pleased, and He has reserved His reward for me in the Hereafter.

masha`Allah to all that follows here: One of my brothers became a Chartered Company Secretary. That is a very respectable and very paying profession. One of my sisters fulfilled my father's dream. She is an FRCP from the UK, and one of the most sought after medical consultants in Karachi. The youngest of my sisters is very well placed in the Pakistani branch of one of the topmost international NGOs. I won't mention which, for I do not want to give away the identity of my family. She has been offered a place abroad by the said NGO, but has declined, for mother doesn't want her to leave Pakistan for good. The brother who did not progress beyond Matriculation because of his head injuries, has one of the finest collection of books - in English as well as Urdu.

All my siblings have the tenacity and perseverance of my mother. I am the exception. Somewhere along my life (at age 20, I think) I developed an attitude of "it isn't worth the trouble", but I still asked Allah (swt), and He has looked after me very well indeed. The story of that, the story of my own life, is a story of miracle after miracle, and maybe it is due to my mother's duas, for after age 20 at least, I did nothing to deserve what I have.

It, of course, is worth the trouble. One should ask Allah (swt) for everything, even what looks unachievable, for He can create the conditions to give you what you want. I asked for some such things when I was in Canada, and I did it when I was a non-practicing Muslim, or maybe I had stopped being a Muslim, but I still asked Him. It is amazing how He fulfilled these. Only I did not ask Him to fulfill my dream in Chemistry. I relied on my own brilliance. And that is where I went wrong. There is a couplet in Urdu:

Tu hee nadaan chand kalyon peh qana`at kar gaya
warna chaman mein elaje tangiye damaan bhee tha

You, stupid one, yourself stopped short with a few buds
Otherwise, in the garden there was cure for a short shirt as well


(when you are collecting buds and flowers in bulk, you use your shirt to collect these, if you do not have a basket).

Room for the impious Muslim

Isn't there a Hadith to the effect that if we did not commit sins and then repent, Allah (swt) would replace us with a nation that did commit sins, and then repented.

So, instead of looking down on people who commit serious (kabeera) sins, perhaps we should encourage them in a mild manner to repent.

One of the problems of the Ummah is the self-righteousness of the individuals. We think we are better than the other Muslims many of whom we out of hand declare outside of the faith.

We should fight that tendency, try to find reasons and excuses for behaviour, pray, and gently guide the sinful.

Let have room in our hearts, in the mosque, in our homes, for the impious Muslim.

The only time we should withdraw is if association with from him/her poses a threat to our own or our family's eemaan.

Is Obama listening?

good. I congratulate Obama and all who supported him for the President of the US of A.

What does it mean for those of us on this planet who are non-US people.

For there are an awful lot of us.

Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, Pakistan, where the US or its ally Israel is bombing and killing ordinary people.

Will Obama compensate the Iraqis for the destruction of their lives? The four million displaced ones, who have left homes because of the infighting brought on by the war on Iraq.

He cannot bring back the more than 1.2 million Iraqis killed as a result of this war, but will he apologise, and compensate the Iraqi people.

For again, we are an awful lot of people.

Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, Pakistan, where the US is bombing and killing ordinary people. Will Obama compensate the Iraqis for the destruction of their lives?

We are an awful lot of people, and we have been living under occupation of people we do not like: in Chechnya, Kashmir, Mindanao, Pattani, ... and many more places.

Will Obama label us terrorists for our struggle for independence?

Where we are nominally independent, we live under autocratic or corrupt rule - the fruits of corruption going to foreign companies, consultants, and the rulers, who deposit their ill-gotten wealth in the West's money-laundering havens, foremost among these being the US of A.

What is Obama going to do about it? Or is he?

That is what concerns me. What wonderful lives the people of the mighty US of A will enjoy, doesn't matter much to me, except to wish them happiness.

Is Obama listening? Will he stop the money laundering, the deposition of our wealth in the names of the corrupt? Will he return our stolen wealth to us, or will he use it to finance the credit crunch of capitalism?

Is he listening?

Some more on apostates

I did some more research on apostates, and I was surprised to see there have been some prominent ones. In most cases it was the love of dunya that made people made the choice of leaving Islam. One of the Presidents of Argentina (Carlos Saúl Menem Akil) was a Muslim who converted to Roman Catholicism in order to satisfy his political ambitions. It wasn't until the mid nineties that Argentina abolished the requirement of her President being a Roman Catholic. Ibne Hafsun in Spain, The Khans of Kazan and Qasim in Russia, all became Christians to retain or to get lands to rule from the dominant Christian Emperors.

Some apostates are reverts from Christianity, who went back to Christianity. How genuine was their intial reversion to Islam, is open to doubt.

Queen Nazli of Egypt and one of her daughters also converted to Roman Catholicism, the latter to marry her Copt lover. They dies and are buried in the US.

The other daughters of Nazli remained Sunnis to the end. They too had been in exile in Europe, but refused to join Nazli, even when their stipends were cut off. They worked like us commoners for a living, and upon their death were brought to Cairo, where they are buried.

The Shah of Iran's elder sister Shams also converted to Roman Catholicism. Princess Soraya Bakhtiari, the Shah's first wife, who was divorced for being infertile, tried her hand at being an actress in Hollywood before becoming a director's companion. She probably converted as well, for the American Consulate held a service for her upon her death. Since the Iranian elite had been Westernised, it is not surpeising.

Such conversions from ordinary Shia to Christianity, or from wahdatul wujud Sufis is also understandable. When they have already accepted divinity in humans, it is a smaller step to transfer their belief of the incarnate god from their previous one to Jesus.

I was more surprised at apostacies from so-called wahabism, but it seems that here some display strictness and ex-communication. This causes people to lose faith. And here we need to understand how to get such extremists to listen to us.

Others who left Islam, did have questions to which their pre-conceived/determined answers were not forthcoming.

Some have started campaigns against Islam, while most have left it quietly.

The viciousness with which non-Muslim Imperialism attacks Islam, is fed by such campaigns.

Under the circumstances, perhaps the Jurists were right in turning the apostate away from the community, and in prescribing the death penalty for those apostates who vilify Islam. But the experience of Afghanistan, Chechnya, Iraq and kashmir shows that Imprerialism will not leave us alone.

I have to think more about what would be the correct response to apostates. Even better, what is the way to prevent Muslims from becoming apostate and going to Hell as a result. As the prophesies of our beloved last Prophet Muhammad (saws) regarding the end times, come true, and people give up Eemaan for dunya, perhaps instead of engaging with apostates, may be it would be better to turn to individual salvation.

Regarding Yasmeen Ghauri, I now have no doubt in my mind that she has deliberately left Islam to enjoy life. She had an unhappy childhood, with constant bickering at home - something then to avoid in your home. In one of her interviews she is implying that her father said "I (Yasmeen Ghauri) am Muslim, and in Islam we are not allowed to drink, dance, show skin, etc. all that I am doing now". Clearly snubbing her father and those who question her choice of a career. She makes fun of her father when he says "You are putting me in jeopardy. You are going to Hell". all very dramatic, she says with a condescending smile. At the end of her catwalk, she puts her heel fown, as if she is making a statement. What statement is she making? Obviously that "I am doing what is forbidden in Islam. What can you do"?

All we can do is to try to prevent our own from being tainted with her outlook on life.

It is ourselves and our own relatives we must first try to save from hellfire.

A summary of my research on Yasmeen Ghauri

Why did I do a research on Yasmeen Ghauri?


The phenomenon of Muslims (particularly women) marrying non-Muslims and even leaving Islam has been of interest to me, as I do not understand what compels them to do so. If the secular countries are only one-hundredth as tolerant as they claims to be, Muslims should be happy enough living there. Should they fall in love with a non-Muslim, they can marry in a civil court.

One reason maybe that the basic concepts of Islam have not been sufficiently clear to those Muslims who have chosen to leave the faith, or maybe they prefer satisfaction of their earthly desires more than what will transpire on the Day of Judgement.

I have never bothered to read about or see fashion shows, but then I learnt about a Canadian girl (born of a Pakistani father and a German mother). The father was an Imam. This girl became a supermodel, and a household name in Europe. I decided to do some research. I read some more on Yasmeen Ghauri, and saw some videos. I think now I know, understand and appreciate her point of view better, although there are still points that need to be cleared.

She was born in 1971, and her parents divorced in 1980. Her mother accused her father of giving time to the mosque rather than the family. Her father denies this, and says he always catered to his daughter's wisehs, taking her to Los Angeles and Disneyland when she expressd a desire to do so. She continued to live with her father, who took her for Hajj when she was 13. She had inherited her body frame and curves from her mother, and her skin color (coffee) from her father. At school she was the only Muslim (and also the only colored girl). As a resullt she suffered racial slurs (Paki, Paki), and withdrew to herslef, eventually setting into friendships with older people in her neighborhood.

At 17, while working at a McDonald's, she was "discovered by a photographer who brought her to this hairdresser. The hair dresser asked er if she would like to become a model. At that time she described herself as a rebel, wearing all black, and even painting her toenails black. One can understand that there would be friction between her and her father. She perhaps wanted to fit in and be accepted by the society she was living in, while the father was worried about her Aakhira. A modeling career for her was rejected by both her parents, as the atmosphere was "unsanitary and evil". She, however, went ahead, and describes as funny when her father met her agent and asked him that his daughter should not appear nude or something. What she said is not clear to me on the video. She most probably wanted to do what the other girls were doing.

She worked for three years as a model while living in her father's house, who was deeply unhappy, for her and also because the community had begun to question his ability to lead if he could keep his daughter from going astray. She eventually moved to New York and signed a contract with a renowned Modeling Agency. Despite the fact that she had moved away from her father's home as a result of intense disagreement over her career, she used to phone him at least twice a week. Apparently she told her father not to speak anything about her to any one, but herself made a few remarks to the TV, and the father then also spoke a little.

She does have some good qualities. She earned a lot, but was sensible with her money. She is humble and down to Earth. She looked after her mother while modeling, although the information is dated when she initially moved to New York at age 20. She reads ten books a month, or maybe used to read. So her brain must be stimulated. In her interviews she comes out very confidant. She dropped out of a top fashion house show in 1996 to pursue a degree in business administration, not an easy subject. She must have been thinking of what she would do after retirement, if she weren't married. She says at the time of her modeling days that all this modeling work will not last for ever, so she has to make as much money as possible. That is why she has worked not only on runways, but also in advertisements and promotions. She also said this modeling career will be behind her, and she will have a family she is devoted to.

Baring her body, although not comletely nue to start with, was sinful enough, but she went a step further, and had a boyfriend for many years, who became the father of her daughter, born out of wedlock. This, too, is understandable, as the pressure of the society and one's own nafs is to have a partner. In the absence of regulations, one will have sex before or outside marriage. There is loneliness, too, for which one wiil substitute the intimacy sex brings. Alcohol also lowers one's controls, and she had started taking alcohol. Mixed dancing whets up an appetite for sex, and she had started that, too, for she primarily went into modeling because she wanted to enjoy life. She was abandoned by the community, and she found friends among the non-Muslims.

The Muslim community rejects girls who take to such careers. There would be very few, perhaps nil, Muslim men who would have approached her for dating and marriage. She married Ralph Bernstein, a Jewish lawyer, after she had her daughter with him. She helps in fund-raising for breast cancer and saving the German Black Forest. I googled to find out if she is now going by her husband's surname, and sure enough, she is. This year she donated $ 2300 to the Democratic Party. There are other fund-raising events with her name as Yasmeen Bernstein. So she is indeed looking after her family and the circle she has joined. Looks like she is keeping herself and her family away from the limelight. She also said that she does what she believes in.

Her father has also said that she would question him on why they had to live different lives - one at home, one at school, and one at Sunday Islamic school.
 
All very secular, or maybe Jewish, millionaire class living. Nothing about returning to Islam. In fact if she continues like this, she may become a Jew. Looks like all her current friends are Jews. Maybe she already is.
 
In her interviews, she comes out as a very self-assured person, who has consciously taken this route. The interviews happened a long time ago, and in it she said on religion that I am a Muslim and Islam expects its adherents to be modest, not to show skin, not to drink dance, etc., everything that I am doing now". Then she says her father told her "I am putting him in jeopardy. I am going to Hell - all very dramatic." Then she says she is a normal person, and wants to lead a normal life. She is also reported to have said that although her family was middle class, she longed for things that the other children had and did. This is in contrast to the happy-go-lucky attitude she displayed in her career as a model. Obviously, she wanted money and a good sensual life.
 
From this it comes out is that she has rejected Islam. She does not say that she has left Islam, but she admits what she was doing at that time is not allowed in Islam. What she says about the differences with her father shows misunderstanding, if not contempt. She thinks inside he is proud of her. What nonsense. The father refutes that thinking. She also thinks this is dramatic when her father says she is putting him in jeopardy (she was, the community gave him hell), and that she is going to Hell.

Thus she is somewhat contemptuous or dismissive of the punishments in the Hereafter.
 

I pray she returns to Islam.