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Today: consumption kills eco-systems; fraud, greed, grand larceny and theft bring down world's finances; deceit, infidelity and instant gratification destroy families; murders and wars have left us without peace or stability. On top we have droughts, earthquakes, floods, storms, tsunamis … has the world gone mad! Submit now to Allah before it is too late - to the One and Only God, the Creator, Lord and Sustainer of the universe, Unique in His Person and Actions, without any blemish, weakness or relatives. Follow the Sunnah of Muhammad (the last Messenger and Prophet - upon whom be the peace and blessings of Allah), and join those who will be the really successful ones.

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Monday, April 18, 2005

on the Day of Judgement

This Sunday, after the weekly shopping, I went to see my sister. She asks about me and the family. B-i-L is watching the final one day test between Pakistan and India. I come back, and try the net. Bad Gateway, it says.

No problem. The wife is in the kitchen. The children are working on their computers. I have given up reading. The computer's CD drive has problems, so I cannot listen to the Quran on this. I need to upgrade this.

So, I relax. There is a continual sound of some repair plus extention work going on in the neighboring house. Has been so for as long as the neighbors started their house, about 14 years ago. There are sounds like that from our top floor as well, where the carpenters and the painters are at work. I have landed a bad bargain. Should have left these things cool for a time. Now I have agreed to a painters' rate that is excessive, and that excludes work on the doors and the windows.

Not this-worldly, did I not say that about myself.

never mind. Something will turn up.

As I look out the window, I have this fascinating feeling of a serene emptiness. There is greenery everywhere. The area behind my house looks deserted, but that is deceptive. There are people working, and the houses, too are occupied.

I love quietness, I love being alone with my thoughts. There should just be someone to answer my questions as they arise, to cater to my needs.

My thoughts turn to the Day of Judgement.

What I have wanted most of all is that I shouldn't have to answer for my life here, but that privilege will be granted to only a select few. What have I ever done to deserve being let off this lightly?

Wanting is not enough, there should be action with the right intention to support these desires.

So I can imagine, on the Day, my name being called out:

"timbuktu"

I stand there, in the crowd, perspiration upto Neck? lips? ears? forehead? or above - Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala) only knows? High up enough, I guess. Standing in that heat is sufficiently unbearabe, yet I shiver. I know what is coming. I don't want to face it. I wish I hadn't been alive ever. I wish the Earth would open up and swallow me.

Yet this is not the time or place for wishes to be granted.

"TIMBUKTU!"

The voice is loud and clear. No one can miss hearing it. Everyone is looking at where I stand. Two ferrocious looking angels move towards me. They carry fiery cattle prods.

There is fear inside me, but my legs now start moving, out in the open, where everyone can see me.

I wish again. I whisper: "O Allah! spare me this". Tears roll down my cheeks.

"No one will be wronged today. Justice will be done", comes a voice.

But I don't want justice. I want Allah's Mercy. Justice will doom me, I know.

Then the questioning begins:

"Did We not make you a human being - ashraful makhlooqaat, the highest among all creation?", Allah will ask.

"Yes, my Lord", I will say in a small voice.

"Did We not give you loving parents who looked after you?", the questioning will continue.

"Yes, my Lord"

"Did we not provide food for you when you were hungry, drinks when you were thirsty, shelter from the exceses of nature, medical care when you needed it, friends to enjoy life with, siblings and relatives who put up with you, and showered you with gifts, a wife and children, education, a life of comfort ...?", the recount will go on.

"Yes, my Lord. This, and more ...", I will say trembling.

"So, how did you spend your youth?"

I want to say: "in obeying you", but my tongue will blurt out: "in the pursuit of pleasure, my Lord".

"Stupid tongue", I think, "doesn't know when to keep quiet".

"Where did you earn your money from, and what did you spend it on?"

"through haram, and on haram", my tongue is bent upon destroying me.

The questioning will go on:

"Did you know the difference between haram and halal?
Did you try to learn what you did not know?
Did you try to guide those you were responsible for to the right path?
Did you practice what you preached?"

"I came to you hungry, and you did not feed me;
I came to you thirsty, and you did not give me a drink to quench my thirst;
I came to you needing clothes, and you had plenty in your wardrobe, which you did not even use, yet you did not give away what you had no need of."

And, I know Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala) does not need these things. He is referring to the times when people in need came to me, and I waved them away.

"I put you in a position of responsibility over others. Did you look after their needs, or did you exploit them? Did you cater to the spiritual needs of your wards, or did you turn their direction to the enjoyment of this world, away from answerability?"

And again I know what Allah is referring to.

Alas, it is too late. True answers will incriminate me. But even if my tongue were to side with me, even if it were to keep quiet, the loads of registers with my deeds are there to prove I am guilty.

Oh, to be spared this. If there were some way to repent, some way to bypass this exposure, and to join those who will enter Paradise without being questioned!

innal insaana lafee khusr
veriy, mankind is doomed

illal ladheena aamanu
except those who believe

wa amilus sualihaati
and do good deeds

wa tawassau bil Haqe
and preach the Truth

wa tawasau bis sabr.
and encourage each other in patience

outside, as I continue to look through the window, quiet reigns. The house is quiet, too. There is only the humming sound through my faulty hearing that is audible. It is peaceful, but will this peace be in my heart on the Day?

How can I ensure this peace? How can I ensure being in the shadow of Allah's throne on that day?

I wish I didn't have much to do with this world. I wish I could divorce this world. I wish I were surrounded by pious people, who recite the Quran, and explain it to me, and do dhikr, and whatever they do is halal, so they are away from haram; people with whom I have no chance of going astray; people who will go to Heaven without questionig, and with whom I can go too.

3 Comments:

Anonymous said...

You still can repent and always remember, "It is better late than never." You are not dead, but alive while Allah awaits for your repentance.

Anonymous said...

I am not sure how I stumbled on to this page, but it seems that I have come across a sad and confused person. My God tells me that all any man needs to do is to believe in His Son Jesus - that He died for our sins. That the wounds that He incurred were for our iniquities. We are to believe that. If it were that we get to heaven by works - how would we ever do enough to repay what he in our sin nature have caused us to do. Just as earthly parents give our consequences to our children when they do wrong, God in his infinate mercy will punish us - but we have the ability to be forgiven once and for all by Jesus' death on the cross. It is God's desire that none should perish and fall short of being in paradise with him. My friend and brother please read the scriptures found in the Holy Bible. The answers you are seeking are all there. We are to be in paradise - all humans who accept that the one and only way to be there with Him is to just believe that our sins are already paid for. When you recognize and accept that love and forgiveness, you will be overcome with joy that you will speak of the Savior. When you come upon one that is hungry, with the overabundance of love in your heart you will give him food. To the one who is thirsty, you will give him drink and to the naked and homeless you will provide clothing and shelter - all in the name of the one and only true God! I pray that how ever I stumbled upon this blog, my response will be read and the searching I have recommended will be sought. In the name of Jesus, that no man shall perish, I pray that many will read and take heed to this. In the name of Jesus Christ, my Savior and yours if you accept. Please read in the book of John Chapter 3 verse 16 No man shall come to know me but through my son Jesus Christ.

a sane voice ... said...

Am I confused, or is it the writer of the previous comment?

Research done by Western scholars, Christian and Jews and others, has proved beyond doubt that the Old Testament and the New Testament, both have had multiple human authors, editors, and that too over centuries.

The Bible may contain some words of God, but it is NOT, repeat NOT, the WORD of God.

The Quran is - preserved as it was revealed and compiled by the last Prophet (saw) of God.

So, anyone who believes the present Bible, or any of the preserved versions, is totally the word of God, is the confused one.


QED